Autism and Wandering

In July 2009 (Ashton was 2 ½) we got Ashton’s official autism diagnosis from a highly knowledgeable well known specialist in the field of autism.  After asking us endless questions and handing Ashton a puzzle that he quickly completed.  It went a little something like this, “Your son has autism he falls in the middle of the “spectrum”, get him into a class for kids with autism.  Have a good day”.  You know how people say that parenthood doesn't come with a “how to” book.  Well apparently autism parenting doesn't either.  I had no clue what to do.  Jon was still in the denial stage of the diagnosis so I felt like I had no support.   

 I clearly remember a conversation I had with a friend of mine from high school shortly after that day.  I wanted to reach out to someone who knew what I was in for.  She told me a story about how her son (who also has autism) got out of the house while she was in the kitchen and he was in the living room.  She went through the terrifying story and I felt so horrible for her.  She warned me, be careful!  I had no clue that it was nearly as common as it is.  I thought this was a single incident.  I wish I would have paid more attention and took heed to the warning.  I thought: “Ashton would never do something like that, I am glad I don’t have to deal with that.”  Being that Ashton was only 2 ½, I didn't see a big difference between him and typical kids his age.  I always had his hand in public and at the house he wasn't quite tall enough to start messing with the doors or coordinated enough to make a quick escape.  If it was something I had to worry about you would think the pediatrician would have mentioned it, right?

About 6-8 months later, Ashton began school in the local school system.  I will never forget when I met my now best friend (another autism mom) and she asked me the following question “What do you do to keep Ashton safe?”  I don’t remember how I responded exactly but I went through what little we were doing as we really didn’t have any reason to think of doing more.  We “child proofed” our house wasn’t that enough?  She mentioned Project Lifesaver to me and how her son participated in the program.  She even gave me the contact information for the deputy to get Ashton enrolled.  I am very embarrassed to admit the following thought ever even crossed my mind: “Ashton already has enough going against him right now, that is the last thing we need….something on his wrist or ankle that further sets him apart from all the other kids”.  Can I please get a time machine just to punch myself in the face?  I still did not realize why it was so important or how prevalent elopement was in kids with autism or honestly what it was exactly.

Spring/Summer of 2011 we started having brief elopement incidents.  Ashton was 4 years old and his problem solving skills were evolving.  He learned how to operate the child safety locks on cabinets, how to take off the door knob covers, how to unlock the front door.  He hadn't quite mastered sneaking so he unlocked and opened the door right in front of Jon and I.  He bolted so quickly down the stairs, I was shocked.   Jon chased him down and caught up with Ashton half way down the street at which point Ashton was cracking up running down the middle of the road.  Not funny buddy, not funny at all.  “You have to stay with mommy and daddy” we said very firmly.  That was our first real scare.  We quickly got a door knob cover for the front door.  We had always thankfully been right there when he attempted to get away from us.  He would pull his hand out of our grasp and try to run or would take advantage of anytime the door was not locked (taking out the trash etc.)  When school started the 2011-2012 school year, I called an IEP meeting making sure that everyone was aware of the new side of Ashton.  Especially due to the fact he had a brand new teacher and new principal.  He already had a one to one aide written in his IEP, but he had grown so crafty.  I wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page and that a plan was in place due to his new found love of attempting to escape from safe environments.  At that point I started looking up more information on project lifesaver and got the contact information for our county again.  I still had not made the call. 

Not until September 28th, read about it here: What Is The Worst Phone Call You Have Received?.  Almost exactly one month later an event that rocked our community made me so thankful I decided to make that call - the story of Robert Wood Jr.   Robbie had gone to Ashton’s school.  His younger brother was in Ashton’s class.  I followed the story wondering how on earth I could live with myself if that was Ashton.  Project lifesaver participation jumped dramatically in our county the following days and weeks.  This story had a wonderfully miraculous ending however the majority of wandering incidents do not.  This year alone, at least 14 children with autism have perished after eloping from a care giver and in the past four years wandering lead to the death of at least 60 children. 

The relationship between autism and elopement was not, for the longest time, in the forefront of conversations about autism.  When something affects close to 50% (according to research published last year in the journal Pediatrics) of such a large group of people (according to a federal survey this year the prevalence rate of autism is up to one in every 50 school age children) you would think it would be highly publicized and known.  I was so glad to see the ABC News story this week, that covers the topic of autism and wandering.  Therapy and education are important for those on the spectrum but safety and safety education - awareness should be the #1 priority. 

The National Autism Association are doing a great job bringing this topic to light and providing a much needed resource for parents, caregivers and first responders.  Visit the site dedicated to autism safety at http://www.autismsafety.org/ and their main site at http://nationalautismassociation.org/.

When fear comes to life, it feels like a dream...a very bad dream.

I woke up this morning to the sounds of the kids bustling around the house.  Jon had tried his best to let me sleep in.  We had decided we were going to have a nice lazy day, one with no schedules.  The last few weekends have been busy and full of planned activities.  Today was going to be different, relaxing.  God knows we needed it.  The kids were already fed, so I ate some cereal as Kayleigh and I cuddled in bed to watch some My Little Pony episodes while the laundry washed.  Ashton was going from room to room stopping to do something of interest then moving on leaving his typical trail of humming and other random noises echoing in his wake.

Jon came in and said he was going to mow the lawn.  "Please make sure you lock all the doors so Ashton doesn't get out" I say automatically.  I knew he would lock everything like he always does, but something makes me say it anyway.  "I will, I always do" he replies to reassure me, somewhat mockingly.  Through the years we have stepped up our game as Ashton's problem solving skills evolved.  We went from a general child safety knob cover to a more sophisticated knob cover and chain to our current double sided keyed lock and chain lock.  The sliding glass door has a door lock, bar lock with key, and a piece of wood tightly in the bottom as an extra measure.  When we are both home the chain is kept locked as well as the main lock of course.  When one of us runs out for a bit, we typically haven't been locking the chain lock due to the pain of letting the other person back in the house.  We felt safe having the double sided lock on the front door, as safe as you can feel when you have a child that likes to bolt given the opportunity.  

After the grass was trimmed, Jon came in, showered and offered to go get some pizza if I called in the order.  I called the local Italian pizza place at 12:58pm.  They said our order would take 30 minutes, so Jon left between 1:15-1:20 to get the pizza.  I heard him leave, I heard the lock mechanism lock after he shut the door.  I wanted to take a shower as I was still in my pajamas, but decided to wait until he got back.  Ashton, Kayleigh and I were back cuddling enjoying our relaxing day when Ashton decided he was tired of cuddling.  He heard the door close and bolted from the bed when the door shut, he likes to watch Jon leave from the window.  I didn't think anything of it when he left the bedroom for the living room humming along the way.  He came back in and grabbed the iPad and ran back out of the room a moment or two later.  A couple minutes later I got up to use the bathroom, I left the door open as I always do listening for anything that needs my attention.  

When I was done, I sat back down beside Kayleigh and noticed something that I don't notice very often.....quiet.  No humming, no stomping, no singing, no crashing....NOTHING besides the TV.  This was not normal...the soundtrack of our lives is a cacophony of noises, sounds, vocalizations, singing, reciting lines from favorite movies but never ever quiet.  Quiet spawns panic.  I briskly walk out of the bedroom to check on Ashton.  I call his name...no response.  The eerie quiet sustained.  I look to the left and my heart dropped as I spy the front door ajar with MY set of keys dangling from the double sided lock.  The dream state began...it felt like my feet were in cement.  The air was thick with dread.  All I could hear was the sound of my heart beating...quickly beating faster and faster.  The thoughts, the terrible thoughts and feelings of guilt began to barrage me.  I felt the stomach acid rise to the back of my throat.  All the "what if's" began attacking me.... What if he gets hit by a car?  What if he wanders into the woods?  What is he wearing? I think to myself.  Grey.....this is not good...not good at all.    

As quickly as I could, I ran outside to see if I could see him.  I yell his name a few times at the top of my lungs "ASHTON" and listen for any sort of response, any rustling of leaves, any humming any noise.  NOTHING....not a sound.  I couldn't even hear the normal sounds of nature, I was in a glass bubble.  I immediately think about the pond that is less than 100 yards from our house.  I ran back in and grabbed my phone and told Kayleigh to sit on the bed and not to move.  I run back outside forgoing shoes "AAASSSSHHHHTTTTOOOONNNN"  I yell again with terror laced in each syllable as I see my neighbor Christy rushing over.  She yells, "what's going on?".  "Ashton GOT OUT" I reply quickly.  She bravely says "I will stay with Kayleigh, you GO".  I resumed yelling "ASHTON" at the top of my lungs as I attempted to dial 911 from my cell phone.  In this dream like state, I found it hard to think straight.

Before I am even able to physically hit "send" I hear a reply yell..."I HAVE HIM, HE IS SAFE" a female voice responds then quickly recites her address.  "ACROSS THE STREET, I HAVE HIM, I called the sheriff" she yells as I dreamily follow the voice across the street and down her driveway, the gravel cutting into my feet.  As soon as the trees clear, I see him beside her standing there as if nothing happened.  He glances up at the sky squinting his eyes then focuses his eyes on me for a brief second. My phone rang just then at 1:29pm, I briefly looked down at my phone and didn't recognize the number.  I wasn't thinking that it could be the Sherriffs office, I wasn't thinking straight at all.  All I was thinking was "there is my boy, my heart, my life...SAFE."  I didn't answer the phone, I ran up to Ashton.  I try to quickly explain as I grabbed his hand and held him close to me.  Holding him tightly I try and explain.  "He is autistic, I am so sorry" partly to her and partly to him.  How could I let this happen?

Thankfully she explains that she is a teacher and noticed that he had autism as soon as she saw him.  Which I guess was very apparent when he rang her door bell, walked right in and started immediately playing with her daughters toys before she could even get to the door.  She also noticed the tracking device on his ankle.  I am so thankful for this awesome neighbor that I had never met before.  I am thankful that Ashton's angels were working overtime to lead him to the perfect place that would recognize the situation and would do the perfect thing by calling the sherriffs office.  I am so thankful that he is safe, sleeping in his own bed tonight.  

The unspoken understanding is that we have to step up security measures yet again but words can not even scratch the surface of explaining the emotions and fall out of the event that occurred today.  This was THE single most horrifying event that has ever rocked my life and I am thankful beyond words of how it played out.  I am honestly still in shock, still shaken up.  My head is still pounding and the nausea will not subside.  I am unsure how long it will take for me to be able to get over this.

I understand, more now then ever, the studies comparing the stress level of a combat soldier and those with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) to an autism mom.  Since Ashton's first elopement attempt we have been sitting in our metaphorical foxhole planning, preparing and waiting for the next "attack" facing it and preparing for the next, always stepping up our game.  We don't sleep soundly, we have to be constantly vigilant day and night.  We can not function like typical parents do.  The constant nagging worry will be stronger and more toxic this time around.  An event like this will have lasting effects on the both of us physically, emotionally and mentally.  Please pray that we can find some sort of normalcy in the coming weeks, months and years.  Please pray for Ashton's safety above all.  As we saw today, he is a determined little guy that will do whatever it takes to get what he wants.  

What Is The Worst Phone Call You Have Received?

The Watcher - Painting by Thomas Blackshear II

I feel that I am finally able to openly discuss the alarming event that occurred the fall of this past school year. Some of the recent frustrations that I am facing are a direct result of this and to give a better background I am now going to put it all out there.

At around 3:30pm Wednesday, September 28, 2011, I received a phone call from the school where Ashton attended. As a parent, anytime the caller ID reads “THE SCHOOL”, I think we innately freeze and our heart stops beating. I personally think that biological response triples for those of us who parent children with special needs.

The following is part of the reason why....

“Good Afternoon Mrs. Parker, I am calling to inform you that Ashton got out of the school today.” “Please don't worry, he is safe now, but just wanted to call and let you know what happened.” The “downplaying” of the event promptly followed.

Once I was able to get the facts this is what occurred...

At lunch (around 10:30-11:00am), Ashton's 1:1 aide got up from the lunch table to fix his oatmeal, once she was away from him, Ashton promptly got up from the lunch table and proceeded to run through the cafeteria, down the small rear hall and out the side doors leading outside. Once he was outside the school he proceeded down the middle of the side road in front of the school towards the major highway/byway the school resides on (a major roadway where cars are know to travel the upwards of 70 miles per hour-speed limit of 55). Thankfully when he was about 15-20 feet from the highway a woman driving towards Ashton stopped her minivan, got out and intercepted him. She then led him back to the school.

What isn't said here is that I have recording after recording of IEP meetings (If you are not sure what an IEP is read here) prior to this event detailing his known elopement behavior. Especially once I knew that this school year would start with a brand new teacher, a brand new principal and several new aides working within the classroom I made sure that I over explained during several IEP meetings WHY we have a 1:1 written in the IEP and the importance of someone being within arms reach of Ashton in order to prevent something like that from happening.

There are many horrible, terrible, devastating outcomes that I am sure were rushing through your mind as  you read the details of the event.  I am beyond thankful that Ashton's angels were working overtime that day and that nothing horrible happened. It did not however, leave the school void of responsibility. After multiple meetings it was finally decided that it was appropriate for him to attend a private day school for children with Autism at the county's expense. It was promised by the new school, that he would have a 1:1 aide with him at all times and thankfully we haven't had any successful attempts at elopement since he started at his new school.

I am in shock at how well he has done and how far he has come in the last several months since this placement started. To find an environment where you see tremendous growth in your child is priceless. It was like a huge burden was lifted off of my shoulders, I felt like I didn't have to fight so hard anymore. I felt like all my dreams had come true....No more IEP meetings where you leave feeling like you want to crawl in a hole and die, defeated. NO MORE!!  These people really care!

On to recent frustrations.....

On the last day of school June 15, 2012 I received a lovely letter stating that due to the fact that ownership of the school had changed hands and that the curriculum was changing they were not going to be able to provide a 1:1 student/aide ratio any longer.

The event that occurred in September came rushing back full force. After speaking with the representative from the school that following Monday it was ultimately determined that NO ONE was going to receive a 1:1 aide and there was no way around that. They understood if I felt that placement elsewhere was appropriate for him. A flood of emotions hit me in that moment and I again felt defeated. What happened to not having to fight anymore? What happened to thinking that “these people REALLY have my sons best interest at heart”. I felt like an environment that demonstrated without question to help him was being pulled out from under him like a deceitful rug. After I said somethings that I now regret, I sat in my car and cried. I cried one of those ugly cries...you know the ones I am talking about. Make up running, sobbing with the ugliest possible contortion to your face...Yeah, that’s the one!

After a head slitting headache and the drive home. I realized I can not do this on my own anymore. Jon has never really been involved in the kids schooling. That has been completely and utterly on my shoulders alone. I attend IEP meetings alone, I go through IEP's alone, I research education laws on my own, I draft/edit IEP goals on my own....I don't care if he has no clue what is going on, I need support. We talked.

After I vented to Jon, prayed and slept, I felt a little more refreshed the next day. I called the representative back and started with an apology for my emotional response and asked if we could call a meeting to discuss options. We are talking about developing a safety plan for Ashton that meets his needs to prevent elopement without a 1:1.

This is my prayer..please join with me!

Heavenly Father, thank you so much for continually keeping Ashton safe and getting him in this program where he has shown so much growth. I know that you have a plan for this situation and that you ALWAYS have his best interests in mind. Please help us develop a plan that works. Please give guidance to the teachers and aides that work with Ashton. I pray that he continues to grow and learn in this new program. Above all, please continue to keep him safe. Place your strongest and fastest angels around him. In Jesus name, AMEN!

I Miss You!

Me, Dad, Shawna, Barbara, Shauna

This past Thursday, June 21, 2012, marks 6 years since my dad passed away. 6 years...wow! To say that I miss him would be an understatement. I miss so much about him, but most of all his sense of humor.

Anyone who knew my dad, knew that he had a nickname for everyone. I can still hear him calling me a variation of Banny Rooster, Rooster or Roostie which apparently came from the term Bantam (or Banty) Rooster. Banty Roosters are typically ¼ the size of other roosters but make up for their size in attitude and spirit. I may be small, but don't mess with me or my family.

My love for fishing came from my dad. I remember many times growing up that he would take my sister and I fishing. We always would have a contest to see who would catch more (Shawna was usually off picking flowers leaving her pole unattended).  I remember him making me feel so good when I caught a fish. He would win most of the time of course, but I remember one particular time that I kept catching fish after fish and he caught none. He was a good sport about it but I could tell he didn't like losing.

He loved watching football, in particularly the New York Jets. I remember his quirky game watching preparation which always included green olives that he would eat during the game. He swore it was good luck. Although, more often than not it resulted in him throwing the green olives at the screen.

I will never forget how my dad always kept a beautiful salt water fish tank. I now know how difficult they are to maintain but I don't ever remember him not having one. That is part of the reason I became so interested in salt water fish and ocean life.

My dad was a mechanic, a reliable and hard working man that showed up to work on time and rarely ever called in sick. He was knowledgeable and in my eyes knew everything there was to know about cars. He always went above and beyond for family and friends. If you needed your car worked on he would make time to help you out.

Dad, I miss you! I miss you so much! Every single Father's Day that goes by it hurts a little more. I hate that you are no longer here! I hate that I can't just call you or come by. I hate that Ashton and Kayleigh didn't have the privilege of meeting or getting to know you. I hate that they missed out on getting their very own nickname from their grandpa or getting their ears “widgeed”. I hope you get to take glimpses down here often to see how we are doing. Ashton and Kayleigh are doing so well, these last 6-8 months have been tremendous. I am really looking forward to see what happens in the next several months. I know you are too. Time is a funny thing, the older I get the faster the years go. I know I will see you again, and I hold on to that. I love you, daddy! I miss you!

Keith Paul Potter

July 31, 1956 – June 21, 2006    

What A Ride!

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,

“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,

is when I carried you.”

-Mary Stevenson

God Won't Give Me More Than I Can Handle, Or Will He?

These last 6 weeks or so have nearly gotten me to the point of donning a “comfy” white jacket with overlong sleeves crossed at the chest and wrapped behind the back. I am also thinking of making a small white cushioned room my humble new abode.

You know the old adage “God won't give you more than you can handle”. We have ALL heard it from well meaning family or friends and may have even used that phrase to make someone in a tough situation feel better. I am also sure you can think of situations in your life where you questioned this very statement and possibly even questioned God because of the statement that we have just taken as fact due to hearing it so much. 

I have come to cringe when I hear that statement and thought I was a “bad christian/parent/person” for feeling that way. Well guess what?! It is not in the bible anywhere...period! Believe me, I looked and looked and looked. God NEVER said he wouldn't give us more than we could handle. I am no theologian by any means but He did say that He wouldn't temp us beyond our ability to withstand temptation and make good choices.

1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man, God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

Maybe that is why I haven't actually turned myself over to the local mental health authorities demanding they give me my padded room and straight-jacket. I am withstanding that strong temptation. 

It doesn't mean however, there won't be things in life that overwhelm you, encumber you and completely wear you out pushing you well past your comfort zone and eventually past your breaking point.  He does promise however, to be there when we are weary, burdened and completely spent.  I honestly think He DOES give us more than we can handle sometimes so we do run to him for rest and solace.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)  

Count Your Blessings!

Within the last several months we have found out that Ashton can read.  He is actually sounding some things out but has an awesome memory as well; once he learns a word it is in his memory bank for good.  The school sent me a video of him reading a book recently.  Keep in mind, Ashton being able to attend to a book page by page is a huge milestone in and of itself.  See for yourself...

Today I wrote out some flash cards with the first words that I thought of.  Some of the words were those I knew he knew, others were very random.  He did amazing.  My little guy is reading!  (I apologize for the loud woman in the video...do I really sound that obnoxious?) 

On a side note of progress...Ashton has pooped on the potty two days in a row!!!  This is huge in and of itself and I am praying that we are finally on to something here.  We have been very blessed within the last 6 months in the potty department.  Kayleigh has become completely potty trained and is able to verbally request when she has to go which is HUGE!  Ashton goes all day long dry and pees on the potty on a schedule.  He is not quite able to request when he has to go, but we are working on that.  

However.....this "poop" progress is HUGE due to other underlying reasons, It has been my arch enemy lately.  Especially within the last two weeks...in which I went through colonoscopy prep with him (YES, you read that correctly....that is an epic story alone) as well as a poop smearing art project (I will not bless you with a picture of this) on his bedroom wall only days after the colonoscopy prep madness.  So I am here to say that two days with no poop to clean up....I am practically in Heaven!! 

Special Needs Moms

Special Needs Moms

A Look Inside

You may think us “special moms” have it pretty rough.
We have no choice. We just manage life when things get really tough.
We’ve made it through the days we thought we’d never make it through.
We’ve even impressed our own selves with all that we can do.

We’ve gained patience beyond measure, love we never dreamed of giving.
We worry about the future but know this “special” life’s worth living.
We have bad days and hurt sometimes, but we hold our heads up high.
We feel joy and pride and thankfulness more often than we cry.

For our kids, we aren’t just supermoms. No, we do so much more.
We are cheerleaders, nurses and therapists who don’t walk out the door.
We handle rude remarks and unkind stares with dignity and grace.
Even though the pain they bring cannot be erased.

Therapies and treatment routes are a lot for us to digest.
We don’t know what the future holds but give our kids our best.
None of us can be replaced, so we don’t get many breaks.
It wears us out, but to help our kids, we’ll do whatever it takes.

We are selfless, not by choice, you see. Our kids just have more needs.
We’re not out to change the world, but want to plant some seeds.
We want our kids accepted. That really is our aim.
When we look at them we just see kids. We hope you’ll do the same.

~April Vernon

My Valentines Gift

Yesterday was a super long day at work away from the munchkins.  I left the house about 6:30am and didn’t get back home until well after the kids were in bed for the night.  This gets harder and harder for me each and every night this happens.  Going back to working outside of the home has been a very tough transition.  Thankfully the 8pm entrance is not typical and only an occasional occurrence.

Anyway, after my super long day and commute I get in, change in to my comfortable clothes and hear Ashton still playing in his room.  Ok before you start throwing stones….wondering why on earth we let him stay up and play in his room after we put him to bed, Ashton and sleep have a love - hate relationship.  No matter what time he goes to bed, he is up at 6am (on the dot).  His internal clock barely even gets confused when the time changes.  With that being said, no matter what we have done or tried, he will not go to bed unless he is completely ready for bed.  Most nights these days he is thankfully pretty ready for sleep within the first hour which is why the kids have a strict 7pm bedtime.

Our nightly ritual (ceremony, procedure or whatever strictly repetitive routine description you wish to place here) starts with giving a verbal queue to the kids that they have x amount of minutes to continue their current preferred activity…then another verbal reminder “1 more minute torturing your sister/brother playing on the iPad”.  After that minute or approximate mommy minute, we begin ushering the kids to their rooms.  They go to their respective rooms and await the blanket routine which entails being covered in a very specific order starting with each of their favorite crochet blankets.  Then comes the nightly prayer, then the kisses….and in Ashton’s case, I kiss and kiss and hug and hug repeating “Good Night” or “Night night” until he repeats it back. Then comes the “I love you’s” until he repeats it back.  It may very well be torturous, I’m sorry but I love hearing him say it.  It took nearly 5 years to hear it, ok?!   After the “I love you”, if he hasn’t gotten enough kisses to last the night yet, he takes my head and keeps pulling me down to his face until he is all kissed out. =)  Which lasts longer some nights then others.  After he is done and ready for me to leave he pushes me away from him.  After all the kisses and love, I am totally ok with this part. =D  I say one last good night and I love you and leave the room.  For some reason Jon always has to be the last one out of the room, we found this out the hard way.  Once daddy says his final good nights and I love you’s, we close the door.  If he is not ready for bed he will get back up and play for a little while until he is ready for bed.  He then will cover himself up and go to sleep.

Ok so where were we…oh yes, I hear Ashton playing in his room.  Of course my heart leaps a little bit knowing that I can go say goodnight at least (even if that means ritual must start all over).  I open the door and his little face looks up at me from the bed (which he jumped back in quickly covering himself back up when he heard me coming in).  I lean over him and give him a huge kiss and hug and say “I love you sooooo much!”  To which he appropriately responded with “I luh you tooo”!!  This was a FIRST.  You may be thinking….ummm, Brandi….you announced several months ago that Ashton said “I love you” for the first time.  You would be correct.  Let me clarify something for you though.  Children with Autism commonly use echolalia which is repeating what they hear exactly as they hear it…such as if you would ask “how are you?”  they would respond with “how are you?” instead of appropriately responding to the question being asked.  This in and of itself was a great step for Ashton, appropriately responding to something said instead of just repeating.  This also tells me he hears a lot of “I love you” and I love you too’s”. 

This concludes a wonderful Valentines week, pretty much the best one yet!!

The Santa Clause.....

The Christmas Season these days is much different from the ones of the past. Take decorations for instance... I never imagined having to be so careful deciding what to put out/up based on the likelihood it will be eaten, demolished or cause bodily harm in any way shape or form. The (not so) annual village has been a definite “NO GO” for the last few years (which my mom saw first hand this year after a few gates were ripped from their hinges and placed where they were really meant to go in her bravely displayed village...sorry mom!). Everything from traditions and gathering all the way down to the actual gifts. This year I will proudly say that Ashton actually unwrapped his gifts with minimal assistance. Maybe we can work on the enthusiasm next year? Hehe

On to Santa....

This year was the first year that we braved a Santa visit. I will admit that I was a bit nervous. I hate putting him in situations that overwhelm him but also scenarios that give people more of an opportunity to say something idiotic or downright hateful. First hurdle, the dreaded waiting in line....CHECK, he did amazingly well with minimal resistance and vocalizations. When we got to the front of the line the elf briefed us and was trying to engage the children in conversation. Kayleigh played along pretty well. Ashton just hummed his usual one note tune and looked at the elf briefly as he took the sticker being offered, knowing it would become a later snack. It was then our turn with Santa. We gingerly walked up to Santa. I placed Kayleigh on Santa's lap. She was just going with the flow...”Hi Santa” Kayleigh squeaks. I look over at Ashton as Jon gently lead him up to Santa. “I don't know how he is going to do, Santa” I warn. “Oh he is fine! Sit him up here on Santa's lap” Poor Santa didn't know what he was in for if this encounter didn't go well. Sweet ignorance! However, as Jon placed Ashton on Santa's lap he looked up into Santa's face and said in the sweetest little Ashton voice ever....”OH, OH, OH” It wasn't quite Ho, Ho, Ho....BUT IT WILL DO!!!!!! Of course I freak out...Santa probably thought I lost my mind...”GOOD JOB BUDDY, THAT'S RIGHT...HO, HO, HO!!! SANTA SAYS HO, HO, HO!!! YAY ASHTON” I then backed up with tears pooling in my eyes just in time to get out of the way of the picture they were trying to snap. The photo turned out great, although I am a little bias....you be the judge!!!

Ahhhhh Christmas Time.....Different Not Less!!